Dealing with in-laws….
In-laws are big part of your spouse’s life and ultimately yours. As your navigate your journey in marriage, you must learn to get along with them and learn to honour their place in your spouse’s life.
Building these bridges may seem like an uphill battle at first. As you take time to learn how to balance your needs with the needs of others, you could develop beautiful and precious relationships with your in-laws. Even if you don’t turn out to be best friends, doing your best to get along with in-laws is worth it, for you and your spouse’s sake.
Here are some ideas to help you build and maintain those bridges:
1. Work Out Your Marriage
Your first step to have a peaceful relationship with your in-laws lies in the strength of your relationship with your spouse. Work out your relationship daily; work out your conflicts and seek to understand the nature of the bonds your spouse has with his/her family members.
Don’t put your spouse in situations it seems like he/she has to pick you or them; you’ll be making life seem impossible and if your spouse is forced to make that choice, he/she may resent you. Try your best to support your spouse’s relationship with his/her even you don’t get along with them.
2. Be Yourself
Be confident in who you are. Sure, there are a lot of insecurities that may arise in these new relationships but you must stay true to who you are.
So that as your in-laws get closer to you, they are getting to know the real you, not some facade you create to get through the season. It’s better if don’t fall in love with the real you immediately than to love someone you’re only pretending to be. You won’t be able to keep it up and when you’re discovered, the relationships will be badly damaged.
However, to be yourself, you have to know yourself.
3. Create Communication With Them
Don’t keep communicating with your in-laws through your spouse; it creates a lot of room for misunderstanding.
If your in-laws are trying to talk to you directly, don’t shy away. On your part, also try to resolve your requests and issues with the persons involved directly. This is a great way to deepen the relationship even if there is conflict. Sometimes, you’ll be surprised to know that there are just as confused or insecure as you are. You may also get an apology for a bad behaviour or get to understand that they made an honest mistake.
The best part is when you see how happy they are to relate with you.Communication with in-laws requires wisdom and tact. Study them well.
4. Be Mature
Maturity helps you accept people for who they are; don’t hold your in-laws to stereotype standards. Relate with them on the basis of the reality on ground.
If they don’t like you or don’t follow the rules you expect, maturely accept it instead of being devastated. Even you form your own opinions, try to see things from their own point of view.
Relating with your in-laws in maturity will help you avoid unnecessary conflicts and help you discern when disagreements are necessary.
5. Be loving and Kind
You may not like them but you can be loving and kind towards them. Let your love for your spouse spill over to them. Greet them and send them gifts during holidays. Show them sympathy and concern during challenges as much as you can.
Don’t speak ill of them to anyone who cares to listen and don’t speak rudely to them. if you can say something nice to or about them, do so. If you can’t, try to be quiet.
Dealing with in-laws in the most humane way you can is a gift to your spouse and yourself. You can never tell what great benefits would come of it.