People You Should Never Share Your Secrets With
Knowing who to trust……
All of us have secrets even though we may not know it. Your secret doesn’t have to be some terrible past or some grave thing that would ruin lives if it was known.A secret is simply something that you would not share with just anyone; a secret is a thought, a plan, a knowledge, an event or story that you are keeping private and might never tell anyone.
However,as human beings,we often want to share our secrets with people that we trust and feel we can confide in. Sometimes we err in our judgement and share our secrets with people who eventually disappoint us.
Misjudging others is not always preventable because some people pretend so well or because we can’t just know everything. However, there are also many times that the disappointment and heart break we suffer could have been prevented. We only need to be a little sensitive.
Here are some pointers to people we should not share our secrets with:
1. If they have betrayed you before
This is not to say that you should not forgive and move on but you must also be wise. If a person has betrayed you before by gossiping behind your back, divulging confidences you shared in the past or double-crossed you in any other way, then he/she is not the person to share your secret plans, thoughts, actions or mistakes with.
Accept the truth that they could do it again,and you just may not be able to afford trusting them like before because there really is no guarantee that they won’t do it again. It may be in your best interests and that of your relationship to avoid anything that will cause avoidable pain.
2. If they have discussed other people’s secret with you
They may be exemptions to this; your spouse, family member or really close friend may have shared other people’s secrets with you because of your level of closeness with them. However, if you notice that a person is in the habit of carelessly divulging other people’s secrets, then keep yours away from them.
Also if you notice someone who tells on people when they are mad or upset, then it is a sign lack of self-control and that they are not so reliable.
3. They are jealous or competitive
If you are sensitive, you can tell that friend or relative that is always trying to compete with or best you. This might be a sign of jealousy, envy or that they just want to be ahead of everyone else. Whatever their reasons are, don’t share your secrets with people who are always competing with you.
If it’s a bright business idea or the formula for some great invention, they might just steal it and use it for themselves. What would you then do?
4. If they are gossips or talk too much
This one is easy and simple; don’t share your secrets and private plans with gossips and talebearers. Unless of course, you need the whole town to hear about it.
People who talk too much also run the risk of spilling confidential information without knowing it or without meaning to. It is better to avoid such situations by simply not telling them.
5. If they are unreliable
Whatever the reason is, whenever you notice that are person is unreliable, always in the habit of breaking promises and not fulfilling their obligations, don’t make them your confidant.
Bad habits likes alcoholism or drug addiction can make people unreliable. Character traits like greed, selfishness, or extreme anger can also make people unreliable.
Many have experienced family and loved ones betraying their trust and divulging secrets because they were offered some money, because they needed to satisfy an addiction or simply because they were mad at them. This is why you have to exercise judgement about confiding in such persons.
6. If they are immature
There are certain secrets you can’t share with a child or younger person. For one thing they might not understand its gravity or it might just be too heavy for them and may feel the need to tell somebody in order to take off the pressure.
They might also be people in your life, who are adult in age and size but emotionally immature. It is best to keep your dearest secrets away from such people
7. If you feel uncomfortable
Maybe you can’t explain why but you are simply uneasy and uncomfortable with the idea of telling that person your secret, then you should trust your instincts.
Maybe it’s not the right time or they wouldn’t understand or maybe they are not what they present themselves to be. Intuition can be very powerful and oftentimes, we know more than we think we know.
So just keep your lips sealed, wait it out and see what happens.Your misgivings may eventually be justified.