Ladies, 5 Things You Shouldn’t Disclose Too Early in a Relationship
Love conquers all; this is true but sometimes, love needs to be given some breathing room and adjustment time to find its conquering feet.
You met somebody, it feels like magic and you honestly believe he’s the one. Ladies, it is possible to get carried away in the early stages of a relationship and reveal things that the other person is not just ready to handle yet.
There are things that may require more time in a relationship before they can be disclosed and discussed, depending on the maturity of your man, the gravity of the issue, the responsibility it requires, among many other factors that may just differ with the parties involved.
As for what qualifies as too early, one can safely say that telling a man you’ve been dating for between a week and three months, all your life problems can qualify as too early. But there are issues (and sometimes your instincts tell you) for which you may need more time to unravel. “Early” in a really serious and committed relationship should not probably go past six months or a year because anything after that might be seen as keeping a secret.
Here are five things you shouldn’t spill too early;
Your Financial Status
Unless, you’re now dating your banker or financial adviser, then ladies don’t be too quick about revealing how much you have or don’t have.
If you’re struggling financially, making this a topic early in your relationship might colour his view about you or make it seem like you’re trying to get him to chip in. The truth is that financial state can indicate a person’s level of stability and wisdom among other things and men consider this too. It is not because they are gold-diggers or materialistic, it is an important part of life.
So you might want to let him get to know you enough to decide that you are more than your financial state.
If you’re doing well or rich, you need to be cautious; that’s just the fact. Establish trust and discern motives before baring all about your money.
However, you should be careful about deliberately keeping it a secret; it may give an impression that you cannot correct and eventually damage the relationship.
Your past does not define you and does not make you any less worthy but you shouldn’t make your past the front-burner of your budding relationship.
That man his past too and though it may not be like yours, talking about your past all the time may eventually drown all the good qualities about you and end the relationship. It may also project you as a insecure and negative person who doesn’t even want to receive love.
When a person doesn’t you well enough, telling him that you are an ex-convict, for example, may make him scram not because he’s judging you but because he never considered dating an ex-convict before. When you give such information time, your partner has a better view of you and may love you even with your past.
Maybe you had a terrible, devastating heartbreak that took so much from you and you may never forget, but your new catch is not in a relationship with you just to hear about the guy that ran off with your life savings.
Give it time; as your relationship deepens, he will grow in status as a friend and confidante. Then he wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable with all that pain.
The deeper a relationship goes, the deeper you can go in sharing your plans and ambitions. Everything is step by step.
Sometimes when you talk too much about your plans and ambitions in the early stage of a relationship, the other person might just conclude that they might not be able to feature in that life or keep up with you. This is not necessarily because of jealousy or insecurity; it’s because you’re rushing the pace of things.
Your family problems
Unless he’s your counsellor or therapist, you should take it easy about telling the new guy all your family troubles. Remember that our family sometimes bring out the worst in us as they bring out the best.
You might seem vicious, vindictive and too angry because he can’t fully comprehend where you’re coming from. But as things unfold and he gets a better picture, he will be more sympathetic when you whine, complain and cry.