Parenting: 10 Things You Should Not Say to Your children
As a parent you have many responsibilities towards your children apart from their physical needs. You are major factor in determining their emotional and psychological balance as adults.
One of the ways that parents build up or destroy the self-esteem of parents are through words. One of the ways they also help to shape a child’s world-view and manner of relating to others is through the words they speak to them. These things, in turn, shape the attitude of a child’s towards life and attitude extensively determines how far a person will go in life.
Parents never say these things to your children, and if you have said them already, stop saying them:
1.”You are so stupid” – even though you might say this when angry, most children actually come to believe this
2. “You just can’t do anything right!” – this statement damages confidence and kills their ability to creative and take initiative.
3. “I wish I never had you” – this is a terrible thing to say to anyone, let alone a child.
4. “I don’t know why I waste my money on you” – you’re making that child feel like they are not worth the effort and they may decide to prove you right.
5. “You are too fat/thin/tall/short” – you should never make a child feel bad about their physical appearance; you have responsibility as a parent to make them feel as beautiful as anyone else. When a person feels beautiful, they are more inclined to take care of themselves and improve
6. “I wish you were prettier/more handsome ” – you are simply telling that child that he/she is not good enough; if that thinking begins to drive their lives, they may become prey to other people
7. “I wish you were a boy/girl” – this is terribly wrong, insensitive and irresponsible; keep your wishes to yourself or go see a therapist.
8. “Girls/boys are just so useless” – condemning a child’s gender or their opposite gender is preparing them for skewed view of life that may make them abusive or victims of abuse.
9.” Girls are better than boys/ boys are better than girls” – If you’re trying to build a child’s confidence about their gender, this is not the right way. This statement often creates feelings of superiority or inferiority that eventually make it hard to get along with others.
10. “Shut up!” – This is a humiliating way to ask a child to be quiet. If you continue to humiliate your children with your words, they may lose confidence, they may hate you or become rebellious.
Remember that what you say to your child and how you treat is a form of training. They will treat others how they’ve been trained but when they are all grown up, they will most likely treat you how you trained them.