Parents! These 7 Things Kill Your Children’s Self-Confidence
Every parent wants to see their children flourish, have meaningful relationships, accomplish their dreams and have the best life possible. A great part of being able to realize these goals, enjoy and maintain them, depend on the level of confidence a person has. This is why every parent who wants to see their children excel should invest in their confidence.
The truth is that while a lot of parents desire to see their children live confidently and are heartbroken when they are insecure and timid, there are responsible in many ways for this lack of confidence. Many parents do a lot of things that chip away at their children’s sense of worth and self-esteem, making them to lack confidence in themselves and their abilities. The painful thing is that many of them do it unintentionally and unknowingly.
Here is some help parents; stop doing these things because they affect your children’s self-esteem:
1. Helping them with everything
Love manifests itself in the offering of help and gifts but not all the time and especially not the love of a parent. If you help your kids with everything all the time, especially as they grow up, you will not allow them to realize their abilities, weaknesses and strengths.
In order to allow your children to acquire the kind of self-esteem and confidence that will make them go-getters who do not quit, even in the face of adversities and mistakes, you have to allow them to navigate many challenges by themselves.
When a child faces challenges, mistakes and problems by himself/herself and is able to sort through and overcome them, it shows him or her that (s)he is strong, intelligent, creative and boosts his/her confidence that( (s)he can make it in life.
This is why your physical involvement in your children’s problems should progressively reduce as they grow up. Be available as a support, adviser, confidant, prayer-partner and someone who only steps in when it is necessary. It will build both you and them to know that even when you’re not there, they will make it in life.
2. Not allowing them to air their opinions
This is an important thing. Children who grow up under tyrannical parents usually have self-esteem issues and grow up to be tyrannical parents themselves if they do become aware of the problem and deal with it.
Allow your children to express opinions; whether it be preferences, protests, disagreements or points of view that differ from yours. This gives a validation to legitimacy of their uniqueness and person-hood that builds confidence.
Allowing them to speak their minds should only be guided by teaching them never to be rude or unnecessarily aggressive about it. You should teach through examples that while their opinions deserve consideration, they do not have to be accepted or deferred to. When they are making a lot of sense, it is good thing for your relationship with them and their confidence to choose to do things the way they have opined or suggested.
Instilling discipline into your kids is not the same thing as turning them into robots; it affects their confidence and ability to relate healthily with others.
3.Shouting out them
This is not good. Don’t make a habit of shouting at your children; it may make them fearful and affects their confidence.
They may also learn to talk to others like that and lose themselves good friends and opportunities.