Parents: 6 Habits That are Destroying Your Children
Many parents say that they want the best for their children but their actions show something else. They are involved in habits that are communicating the wrong things to their children. They are setting examples that are only setting their children up for failure in life and in their future relationships. They may tell their kids to behave properly and live morally but their actions contradict their message.
Here are 6 habits by parents that send the wrong message to their children and affect their behaviour
Gossiping about people
Gossiping and bad mouthing people in front of your children give them a very critical and negative outlook about life. They will see nothing wrong in always pointing out flaws and finding fault with people. They make develop an outlook about life where they feel it is their business to know everybody’s business. Even when you tell them not to these things you example is setting a contrary message.
It becomes when they witness you being polite and nice to people you have criticised and bad-mouthed behind closed doors. You make them think it’s okay to pretend and be fake just to get want one wants in life.
Learn to keep your complaints about people private and away from your children especially when they are still very young and do not understand many important things about life and relationships.
Criticising your spouse
Don’t make your young children your sounding board or confidant when you are angry with your spouse or have issues with him or her. It may not mean much to you but you are colouring your child’s view of relationships in a very negative way that (s) he may not recover from.
You are an adult; find an adult friend to confide in and receive encouragement from. If you can’t find anyone you can trust, visit a professional counsellor and leave your child alone to happy and free-minded.
Don’t give that your child the burden of trying to understand what (s) he is not equipped to or trying to console you. Don’t make your child hate or become antagonistic to his/her other parent when (s) he doesn’t even know the whole story of your relationship. You are giving that child a very bad view of your spouse and intimate relationships in general. It is not fair and you may never be able to correct the wrong impressions you have made.
Lying
Lying in front of your child is simply telling him or her that it’s okay to tell lies to people. You can never the far-reaching and negative consequences that such a careless act will have.
Infidelity
To let your child witness or be a part to your infidelity to your partner or spouse is the highest form of emotional damage and even abuse. Exposing that child to such a thing is to give them an outlook of life that can never be positive. They may come to hate you or believe that cheating and deceiving them is a way of life.
You are giving them the impression that no relationship is sacred and you may be the one to suffer the backlash of this seed later in life.
Violence
Being violent in front of a child or towards a child can never yield good results. First of all, it an act of abuse that is also a crime and also it will either make the child violent and aggressive or make him or her fearful and timid in life. If you set an example of violence for your children, you may be setting them up to become violent abusers or victims of abuse later in life because you are sending a message that violence and abuse is a part of life.
Drunkenness and substance abuse
This is very bad and abusive behaviour towards your children and if you are reported to the authorities, they may even be taken away from you. You need to pull yourself together and learn how to be a better example to them instead of sowing the wrong seeds into their life.
You may even harm them physically if you keep getting intoxicated around them. Seek for help fast so that you can be the exemplary model you are supposed to be for your children.