Learning How To Say No: 3 Useful Tips

learning to say no
learning to say no

Learning to say no…

Saying no can be really hard and this makes a lot of people to say an easy but inconvenient “yes” to many requests and tasks that they should simply not be involved with.

There are so many reasons why people say “yes” when they want to say “no”. For one thing, many are chronic people-pleasers who think that saying no will be more harmful to their relationships or because hold them themselves to an unreal and unrealistic standard of responsibility and obligation.

But whether we like it or not, we must learn to say no to have a more balanced life. If people notice that you have a problem with saying no, many of them will want to manipulate you into do their wishes and this does not exempt even family and friends. This will eventually make you end up living your life for others with no time to do what really matters or what is important  to you. You certainly can’t afford this.

You have to be assertive and protective of your time and life. You can’t really do this if you don’t learn how to say “no”. Saying “no” is a statement to yourself and the world that you matter and that you have boundaries that people must respect if they want to have meaningful relationships with you. You are certainly entitled to this kind of respect, so don’t feel any guilt about it.

If you have trouble with saying no, these three tips will be really helpful;

1. When saying “no”, try to keep it short.

Don’t give too many details, reasons or excuses because this may open room for further discussion on the matter and you don’t want that. You’re declining the request and you want it respected so keep it short.

There is no need for elaborate explanations because you’re saying simply because you’re not willing or interested and if you keep rambling, you might become nervous or start feeling guilty.

Keep your answers short, firm and polite and eventually the other person will get the message.

2. You don’t have to answer immediately

If you’re not sure about a request or you’re caught off guard, don’t let that make you say a dishonest “yes”. You can buy yourself by telling the other person that you will get back to them. Just make sure you’re polite about it and when you return with your “no” response, you can thank the person for considering or offering you the invitation or opportunity.

3. Learn to move on

learning to say no
learning to say no

You must never avoid giving someone answer because you want to decline their request; you must learn how to say “no”, if you want to live an adult and independent life.

Sometimes you say no and the other person refuses to accept it; they keep pestering or try to suggest another deal to you. In such instances, you must be ready to disengage.

If someone is in the habit of always trying to manipulate you to do things for them or refuses to stop pestering you about something you have said a clear “no” to, then it may be time to stop picking their calls or responding to text and emails. You may also give instructions that they be denied access to you if you know that’s what they are returning to discuss.

If you want to live an honest and independent life, you will certainly disappoint some people. Just do your best to be civil, considerate and polite.