Tips on how to communicate effectively in a relationship

Tips on how to communicate effectively in a relationship is very essential in having a good relationship. Part of being in a healthy relationship is engaging in good communication. By relationship here I do not mean sexual affair and all, friendship however distant is also a form of relationship. I didn’t see this post coming but as I sat down this afternoon and took stock of my life, it dawned on me I hardly communicate the way I used to, well, communication is a two way traffic you know. One person cannot keep doing the whole checking up all the time because eventually, even rubber band loses it’s elasticity when stretched beyond yield point and becomes plastic. Also, when you are communicating with someone, it looses effectiveness when you start to get I was the one that called you last or I’ve called you 12 times this week while you barely called me.. It doesn’t always work that way because someone like me hardly calls people but when I call, as long as you don’t nag me we’d talk like we never lost contact.

Effective communication helps us better understand a person or situation and enables us to resolve differences (with the popularity of IM platform you see people in a relationship throwing shades and innuendos at their partners whenever they have issues, that’s really childish), build trust and respect, and create environments where creative ideas, problem solving, affection and caring can flourish(communication in a relationship is more than I love you, come and see me, what have you eaten).

Within 5 minutes of meeting a new person and chatting, I can give an idea of who you are and the ideals you represent. I remember lately I met a dude on twitter, good diction, good looks and all, since I had time to spare, we started chatting on bbm and given the kinda respect I had in my mind’s image for him, I was keeping my cool when he was always talking about my endowments; but it got to a head when dude started going all sexual and started sending me nudes *sigh* from the lil moments of communication we had, I could understand his type of person. You get my drift?

Also, effective communication is about more than just exchanging information, it is about understanding the emotion behind the information(this is sorta difficult when chatting because we interpret messages differently) since the goal of effective communication is to find a healthy balance between your intellect and your emotions, between thinking and feeling.

It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust(when you are chatting with your spouse or partner or friend for instance and they tell you something you did that they didn’t like, typing stuffs like “sorry I won’t mention such again” or I can handle myself is akin to telling them to shut up and it makes people withdraw into their shell).

Effective communication combines a set of skills including non verbal communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when its spontaneous rather than formulatic. If there’s one thing I hate, its stereotyped kinda communication, esp on bbm. Eg: you: gm me: g (I hate it when people type gm, if you can’t spell fully, expect same or no reply self) you: how was your night? me: fine. you: have you eaten? me: no (you wan gimme food) you: what are you doing? me: nothing (urrrgh! Stupid question) and you do this same every day! When such people ping me or try to communicate, its more like a zombie chat because the questions are already programmed. Try to spice up the conversation, that way either party doesn’t get bored.

That’s all for tips on how to communicate effectively in a relationship

Seyon Patience Hundeyin.
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