How You May Be Killing Intimacy In Your Relationship

Every romantic relationship that’s really going to go far must stand on the solid rock of intimacy. The truth is that there are many relationships that look good on the outside but really don’t have much substance. They look good together, they sound good together but they’re not really good together; may be they don’t even know if they’re good together.

Sometimes, the major barrier to finding someone you can have something real with or taking that relationship to the next level is that you’re trying to conform to an image. In this age, the media – romantic movies and celebrity examples – seems to be authority people look up to for relationship guidance. So instead of trying get to know each other better, people are more interested in going through the motions. They’re more interested in meeting the standard that magazines and movies have set for them.

The problem is that you can’t fake love and intimacy, at least not for long. So, eventually the truth comes out that that whole I-can’t-do-without-you thing was really a charade. Sometimes, it’s even sadder because the couple could have something genuinely good but they were too concerned about keep up appearances.

You may standing in the way of blooming intimacy in your relationship if you’re doing these things:

Too Much Talk

Conversation and communication is important for intimacy to flourish but you can actually over-do it especially when it’s one-sided. Conversation and communication must find a rhythm that works for both parties if it must be real.

Just because the movies show two people who hit and talk all night on the first or second doesn’t mean that is how yours will go. That guy or girl may not communicate in such long stretches. Be real; work with what you’ve got and not what you saw in the movies.

Don’t force things because that guy that likes you may eventually decide that you talk too much for him.

Hang out Together All The Time

You don’t have to hang out together all the time to bond or deepen your intimacy. Are you even sure that’s what you want? Is that what your partner wants?

When a relationship is budding, sometimes partners don’t feel good about saying so as not the other person’s feelings. This is why you need to be sensitive; your boyfriend or girlfriend’s moodiness may be because s/he needs space.

It’s not all couple who are really close and in love that spend a whole lot of time together. That may not be your relationship’s rhythm; don’t force it.

Sharing Secrets

Don’t force the other person to share any secrets that they’re not comfortable with. Don’t share secrets you’re truly ready to share. It doesn’t mean you’re not close but it’s an indication of where your relationship is at.

Sometimes, what shows that a relationship is going deeper is when you sense that the other person is not ready to discuss some things with you and you respect. Just because that guy loves and trusts you doesn’t mean that he has to talk about his childhood abuse with you just yet. He may be more comfortable talking a therapist or someone else.

Don’t force your partner to talk about things that their not ready to share in the name of being intimate. Such premature revelation can actually kill your relationship. You might not even be ready for what you’re asking.

As long as it’s not life-threatening or something that is detrimental to you or them, you need to take things slow

Making Memories Together

Making memories together will bring a couple closer but not when it’s done in contrived way that feels likes you’re on a deadline. Going out together and doing things together will improve your intimacy when other things like mutual love and trust are in place. It won’t perform wonders on its own.

So, don’t turn into a let’s-do-something believing that it will move your closeness along faster.

Living Together

If you choose to move in together, better make sure that’s what you want and not because you think it will make you closer. It will most likely not accomplish that. Intimacy is a thing that comes with other things; you really can’t use a singular event to make it happen.

Where’s Is This Relationship Going?

Sometimes you’ve got to ask this question when things are all muddled and you’re feeling uncertain. But not when you’re trying to force an answer that you want to hear.

For instance, you just met this girl and even though she’s agreed to be your girlfriend, she’s also told that she’s not ready for anything serious yet. Wouldn’t it be silly to ask where things are going after a month just be slept-over a few times?

Intimacy is a process that depends on time and how much of a good fit you both are for each other. Don’t kill it by want it too fast or on your terms.