1. Plan the Beard in Advance
Before you begin your bearded adventure, get some advice from the bearded experts. This shouldn’t be too hard. Go to any public place and find a guy with a beard you really admire. Make sure it is well-groomed or at least closely resembles the look you’re going for. Be careful not to stalk anyone in the process.
Also, don’t worry about asking strangers questions about their facial hair. I’ve never met a guy who didn’t like to talk about himself. You will make the guy’s day by simply asking him how he managed to create such a stunning piece of artwork on his face. Once again, be careful how you phrase that question.
2. Share Your Plan with the World
Get on facebook, twitter, and put an ad in the newspaper. Let everyone know your plan to make magic with your hair follicles. People like to hear about others who are taking their life by the horns and kicking ass.
Announcing that you are growing a beard should yield the same reaction as climbing a mountain, running a marathon, or taking off your training wheels. Alternatively, you could grow the beard while on an extended vacation and show it off when you get back. Your choice.
3. Start with a Clean Shave
To maximize the sexiness you’ll need even growth from beginning to end. Start the process by shaving every hair off your face completely.
You’ll also want to get a haircut that same day to really have a clean starting block. Take pictures and celebrate. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today you have shaved for the last time.
The sexy beard awaits you.
4. Buy a Beard Trimming Kit
Without the proper resources you may as well consider yourself Al Gore after the 2000 election. Sexy beards are intentional. In other words, George Clooney didn’t accidentally end up with a sexy beard, he made it happen.
He took care of it and groomed it to perfection. Beard trimming kits are cheap. You can probably get one at Kmart for less than $15 bucks. I would recommend investing in a nicer one. Don’t let your finances, or lack thereof, stand in the way of your dreams.
5. Let it Grow
Don’t touch the trimming razor . . . yet. Beards grow faster in the summer and the overall speed is greatly affected by your genetics. This is the phase where others will begin to take notice. Enjoy the moment.
This is where people you know will begin to question your sanity, compliment you on your awesome decision, and/or give you peculiar looks when you’re stroking your own face way too often.
Try not to look in the mirror too often because you’re natural inclination will be to shave something, trim a stray hair, or get rid of it completely. Just let it grow.
6. Trim Conservatively
After a few days or even a couple of weeks of growth you may want to begin the trimming process. Depending on what style you chose in the beginning, now is the time to begin to cleaning up the mop on your face.
Clean up the neck hair and begin to trim around the edges to give it shape. Do not shorten the hairs anywhere. Just clean up the edges, unless you’re going for the authentic George Clooney, then leave the neck hairs unscathed.
After a few weeks or possibly a few months, depending on your preferred length and the speed your hair grows, you will need to bust out the trimming tools and make the hair length even across the entire surface.
This is when the beard finally takes shape and you can witness your masterpiece.
7. Show it Off
Ta-Da! Your sexy beard should be complete and it’s time to take pictures again. Don’t forget to share the pics on facebook, twitter, and annual holiday cards to the entire extended family. This is a moment of pride and joy, like a college graduation or a real bad-ass bar mitzvah. Never forget the moment you decided to grow the beard. You evolved that day and now you get to revel in your progress. Congratulations.
This article was culled from an article that was originally published on jeffsanders.com