7 Reasons why people don’t appreciate unsolicited advice
It is a good thing to caution people when they are going astray or to give them suggestions that may help them even when they do not ask for it. This noble intention must, however, be tempered with caution because many times when people give unsolicited advice, it does not generate appreciation but instead they get rewarded them with a cold shoulder.
Many people who thought they were simply trying to help someone else (or not) have been surprised at the reaction they got. For those who are confused as why their offer of unsolicited is not being appreciated, here are some reasons why they often happen:
It is seen as condescending
Whether you were actually patronising in the way you gave the advice or it was imagined, the unfavourable reception that unsolicited advice often meets with is because people perceive the giver as being arrogant or believing themselves to be better or know better than those they dishing out advice to.
It is too brash
Giving people suggestions or counsel that they have not requested for may require that the giver exercises some patience and wisdom but in many instances this is not so. Either out of excitement or insensitivity, many people who give advice are too forward about how they do it, speaking at the wrong place or the wrong time. This makes their advice to become repulsive to the person it is meant for.
It is one too many
If you’re always in habit of trying to give people counter suggestions and offer your opinion or disagreement with their ideas or plans, then you are courting trouble. Sooner or later, they will notice that you do it too often and are likely to interpret it as a personal affront to their wisdom and capability (which may be true).
Nobody will take likely to indirectly being told that they are not fit to run their lives and they will react to defend their autonomy and put you in your (imagined) place.
It is rude
Expect negative reactions when you give suggestions in a rude tone it or with abusive or mocking words. Even when such advice is found to be useful, you might not be acknowledged for it.
There is no cordial relationship
You can’t expect too much when you give advice to someone who doesn’t know, trust or like you. It will take a lot of humility from such a person to listen and appreciate you for it
It is matter of opinion
Sometimes we peddle our opinions and subjective experiences as facts that are sacrosanct. When we offer those opinions as prescriptions to others, they may not receive it because they have an understanding that what we are suggesting is an opinion that does not relate to their situation.
It is not correct
We may not know it but sometimes people simply do not accept or regard our suggestions because it is inexperienced, irrelevant or incorrect. We may be trying to counsel someone who knows better than us on the particular subject-matter or trying to suggest a totally wrong thing and this is why our contributions are dismissed.