3 Things You Can Do To get Out of the Friend-Zone
Friend-Zone Jail Break
Being in the friend zone can be very terrible; you would like to have something more with this guy or girl but he/she only sees you as this nice friend. It can be worse if you’ve been there for a really long while; sometimes your friend can’t just imagine you as his/her boo.
The friend-zone is an even more dangerous zone to be in when you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person. The longer you stay there, the higher the chances that your friend will soon call you up to say (s)he’s getting married and wants you to do some service that you simply can’t imagine yourself involved in. You know you’re just going to die if that day ever comes.
Maybe you didn’t know before but now that you’ve realized that you want to be with this person, why are you still playing the friend role? Why are you not doing everything you can to make that person see that you’re the one they’ve been waiting for?
Well, we know it might not be that easy; one of the things that keep most friend-zone lovers from ever expressing themselves is the fear of rejection. You just can’t imagine the pain that would come with, plus you might lose the friendship right?
Isn’t it always better to try than to live in what ifs and regret? We understand that you may not want make a sudden move, so here are some steps to ease you out of the friend-zone for good:
1. Ask What They Think About You?
Ease it in casually but don’t be playful about the question; ask that your dear friend to honestly tell you what they think about you.
Tell them you’re getting serious with your romantic life and you want to know some of the things you can do improve about yourself. Ask what they think about you as partner? What are your strong points? What do they think about your looks? Are you someone they could date?
They might start out joking but if you stay serious about it, telling them you would earnestly like to know, you will get some important answers. Pay careful attention and you will be able to see if they consider you someone they can date or be with if you weren’t a friend. You could easily find out what they think is a barrier to why they cannot be romantically involved with you. You might even be surprised with a discovery that they want you just as much as you want them.
You may need have this conversation more than once and whatever feedback you get, you can decide to work on their observation, or you can decide to make a move asap if they seem agreeable. You may however realise that they really don’t think they can be with you; you can give up or keep hoping.
2. Re-make Your Image
You may need to withdraw for a while in order to do this. If he/she is a friend that you spend a lot of time with, try to reduce your hook ups until you are settled with the new ways you want to present yourself to them. On the other hand,if you don’t see them often, you may need to visit more often.
If your hangouts are usually casual with you guys just visiting each other or meeting in informal setting or with friends, tell your friend directly that you would like to go on a formal date with them where you both dress up and do some fine dining. This would reveal you a new light; make sure you bring you’re A-game. If they’re your work colleague that you mostly see at work, arrange to meet more in a relaxed setting.
If they like to call upon you for random favours or talk to you about their flings, find a way to politely but firmly remove yourself from such a role. If you used to call upon them for random favours or talk about all your work, family and relationship problems, stop it; you can resume your closeness when guys become an item. Don’t go on hangouts with them and their current partners anymore; find something else to do; let them experience your unavailability and miss you
The aim is for them to begin to see you differently, as date-able. And whatever the occasion, make sure you always look your best; no more sloppy dressing. You want to change that impression that you’re always available and too familiar because sometimes this is the only barrier to two friends hooking up.
3. Speak Up
If the first two steps work, you may find you and your friend moving out of the friend-zone without so many words but this is not always the case.
Sometimes, they’ve come to see you as someone they’d like to be with but are afraid you don’t feel the same way (you’ll wonder because you think they should see all the signs). Your friend might be just as scared as you are; take the bull by the horn and tell them.
Even if you don’t see any signs, you can’t keep pretending forever; you have to say something. Maybe he/she’ll say yes right away. Maybe it might take a while for them to wrap their head around the idea so they say no at first and later say yes. Maybe he/she would say no forever.
Whatever happens, you’ll be free from the friend-zone and you can be real self again.