Breakups are hardly ever pleasant or happy and most times, they are a hard business to navigate; you could be polite and sensitive and still end up with an ex who is screaming and breaking things because it just wasn’t in their plans. Who can actually blame them?
This difficulty surrounding breakups is why some people get a cold feet and find themselves doing some of the nastiest things to people that they were trying to avoid hurting. Imagine someone giving you a surprise birthday, making sure you had a wonderful day or taking you on dream vacation and then leaving you at note that they were no longer into you; they thought that was the best way to say goodbye.
While there really isn’t any great way to break up, it is often recommended to have a face to face with the other person involved and do things as decently as possible (unless he/she is a psycho or a dangerous killer). The truth, however, is that this doesn’t happen; many people’s guilt and seemingly good intentions lead them to making a greater mess of things.
For those who just won’t be able to do a decent face-to-face breakup, here are five less preferred but still considerate ways of breaking up.
Go with someone
Although this is intrusive on the other party, you can go with another person who will give you the courage to meet your soon-to-be ex and give them the news. You can ask your support to hang around while you do what you need to do.
Call the person
If you are too cowardly to meet up and face your soon to be ex, call him or her; start by saying you would be saying something that is not pleasant and you were too much of a coward to say it his/her face, hence the call.
Say what you need to say in a brief but not too short explanation and afterwards stay on the line to hear if (s)he have something to say (you owe them that courtesy) before you end the call.
If they go crazy and yell abuses, take it for a few seconds before ending the call; make sure you inform them that you’re ending it. If they cut the call before you can finish, try to call back a few times and if they do not pick your call, you call back later if you really like you need to explain or you can just let it go.
This method works best if you are not in any situation where you might need to see that ex soon like going to pick your things at their apartment. If you choose this method, it is better to tie up all loose end before acting.
Send an e-mail
This can be interpreted badly but a breakup is a breakup and since you don’t have the guts to meet up or call, send a lengthy e-mail, explaining your heart out and apologizing if need be.
Make sure to let the person know that you’ve chosen this method because you can’t face him or her. It might help them understand and forgive you.
Send a letter
This is like an email except that it’s in hard copy and you may feel better that it will be received by hand. Both this and an e-mail are like texts or chat except that they seem a little bit more respectful and give you more room for explanation.
As a last resort in the acceptance of your cowardice and perhaps a reluctance to breakup without some physical contact, you can send someone who is known to your soon-to-be ex to the job for you. You could send a mutual friend (if both of you have one) or send a friend that he/she knows.
Don’t send your friend to a partner who has temper.