1. If they won?t support you in front of their family or vice versa.
I had a friend whose relationship was the romantic equivalent of a puppy cuddling an infant: almost sickeningly adorable. The only issue was that her boyfriend?s family refused to meet her because she happened to be of a different race than them. Out of fear of alienating his loved ones, my friend?s boyfriend never pushed them to open their minds or got honest with them about how much the relationship meant to him.
Even though my friend was head over heels for the guy, she called it off because he couldn?t back her in that vital way. After a certain point, the feeling that he was ashamed of her was too painful for love to be worth it. Of course these situations are complicated and can have many root causes beyond race, but standing up to your family about the person you care about is usually a non-negotiable.
2. If they?re abusive.
No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, whether it?s physically or emotionally. Here?s some information about how to get out of an abusive relationship in the safest way possible.
3. If it?s not that extreme, but they always seem to be stuck in mean mode.
When someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself (even without meaning to!), they?ve got to go. Being single is better than being with a person who drags you down rather than lifting you up to be your most badass self, which should really be one of the major benefits of being in a relationship.
4. If your goals in life are complete opposites.
Say your partner wants to live in the heart of a big city while your ideal future home is the most Pinterest-perfect countryside barn. Compromise is always an option, but when you have wildly different ideas for how you want life to go, one person might have to give up too much of themselves to truly be happy.
5. If everyone around you is telling you to dump them.
When your family and friends have superficial reasons for wanting you to break it off, feel free to ignore them. Who cares if your partner wears band tees instead of business suits? But if you have a nagging feeling that their concerns are valid, then it might be worth listening to their input. After all, who knows you better than them??
6. If you can?t stand their everyday habits.
It?s normal to drive each other a little nuts sometimes?maybe her gum chewing mimics a cow?s a little too closely, or his inability to hang up a wet towel boggles your mind. But if their little quirks inexplicably flood you with rage, that?s not a pleasant way to live for either of you!
7. If you?re always nervous about them cheating.
Maybe they?ve strayed before, or perhaps you?re worried because some of what they say doesn?t add up. Either way, you should never have to be insecure 24/7 about whether someone is staying faithful. Think of all the other things you could do with that time, like finding someone who doesn?t have a suspiciously convenient excuse as to why there?s a pair of someone else?s underwear in their bed.
8. If you can?t stop dreaming about traveling the world on your own.
Sometimes people crave a period of solo time to find themselves, and settling down before then doesn?t feel right. Even if the person you?re with is pretty much perfect, the timing can be off because you just haven?t finished growing. Take a breather and know that if the relationship is right, you can come together again, and if it?s not, you?ll find someone who?s a better fit for the more evolved you.
9. If you don?t agree about children.
This applies if your partner is all about that family life while you never want to have children or the reverse. But it can also come down to how you?d want to raise those theoretical children politically, religiously, and morally. If you?re totally opposed on those biggies, you can expect more than a few clashes getting in the way of your domestic bliss.
10. If nothing you do together excites you.
While a relationship can?t be all thrills all the time, one completely devoid of any exhilaration isn?t much fun to be in. When you?re together long-term, there will be periods when your s*x life is pretty quiet, which is ideally when activities outside the bedroom make you excited to be with this person. And if everyday life is feeling too routine at times, hopefully your s*x life keeps you both delighted. Point is, regular excitement is key. ?