Though infidelity is one of the most painful things that can happen in a relationship or marriage. That doesn’t mean that guys or ladies won’t cheat on their spouse/partner
Yes, though you have decided to forgive that your cheating partner by letting by-guns be by-guns. But still its very difficult to trust them like you used to before and see them to be that new person they promised to be.
Below are the three simple ways to make the journey better and easier:
1. Stop lying and strive for honesty.
After betraying your partner’s trust, you will add insult to injury by continuing to lie, twist, hide, or deny. Take up the challenge of honesty at all levels. It is the only way to reclaim your own integrity.
Start to think of yourself as someone that your partner should and can trust. Thinking of yourself this way is the first step toward making it happen. Then let them know that you want them to trust you again.
Provide the complete story up front and do so voluntarily. A voluntary confession is a major step in beginning to restore trust. You may not have told the whole story/truth in the beginning, but it is very important to tell everything, even if you held back in the beginning. Your partner knows you and can sense when there is more.
She may continue to ask questions or keep bringing the matter up because she is waiting for the rest of it, but feels she can’t come right out and ask; It is up to you to tell everything.
2. Develop deeper emotional connection:
Infidelity does not always happen because of physical issues. It is mostly a result of lack of emotional intimacy.
Give your partner a lot of attention and care and a chance and reason to come closer to you. You can’t fix the broken pieces of your relationship if you don’t get emotionally close to your partner.
3. Understand why the cheating happened:
If your spouse cheated because he or she was feeling undervalued in the relationship, you should recognise this and make up for it.
If you cheated because you were bored of the relationship, then you need to find the spark once again. Once you discover the reason for the infidelity, then you can address the issue once and for all.
4. Find ways to reconnect:
Are there things you and your spouse enjoy doing together before infidelity almost tore you apart? Find such activities and start doing them again. You need to find time and try to work through your issues. If you have a new hobby, introduce it to your partner and do it together.
5. End things openly and clearly with the person you cheated with.
This person is a part of the problem, even if unwittingly. Their role can’t be ignored. If you don’t offer closure, there may never be any.
Admitting your guilt to the other person may be a small embarrassment particularly if they did not know you were cheating but in the long run, it may restore trust in your partner.
Although you should keep in mind the feelings of the other person, don’t make the excuse that you don’t want to put the other person through the process of ending things, remember that your partner’s feelings should be even more important to you.
Consider asking the other person to apologize as well (if the other person knew that you were cheating and was a willing participant). This is particularly important if that person will continue to be a factor in your lives.
If you cheated with a coworker, remember that your day-to-day encounters with him or her may make it very hard for your partner to start to trust again. Get your life priorities straight and do what you need to do.
6. Make your partner feel NUMBER ONE again.
When you cheated, you gave someone else attention and value that normally you would reserve for your own partner. As a result, this may make your partner feel that you don’t value them, or that they lack things you sought in the person you cheated with. It can also make your partner believe that other people don’t realize that you value them. It is up to you to counteract these feelings and convince them that you will not betray them again.
Ask yourself whether you are failing to appreciate your partner. It could be that the things you looked for outside the relationship were actually available all along inside the relationship and that you just failed to realize that or make it happen.
Make a list of things that are special about your partner. Seek to appreciate them in your own mind and heart. Tell and show appreciation, too. Compliments can help a bruised ego and wounded heart. But better still, give clear, action-based assurance that your partner is valuable to you.