Dating! 7 Easy guide on turning him down politely. For nice girls only
You know saying no can be so awkward, especially when you tend to decline dates. I’m giving you here the best tips in my guide for nice girls to politely turn that man down politely.
Most times getting asked out is the best feeling in the world. Sorry, getting asked out is the best feeling in the world when it’s someone you actually like and have this soft spot for. But if it’s someone you don’t like, however, the situation can quickly turn awkward, with you floundering for a reasonable excuse to say no.
Then why bother taking the nice girl’s route of turning someone down? Because the alternative is so unpleasant. Nice girls want to spare the guy hurt feelings, potentially keep their friendship, and give a well thought-out rejection that leaves everyone looking and feeling respected.
And for the rest of us? Our blunt but honest ways land us guys who argue against any reason we’ve got, and we get left looking like giant a-holes while being called sluts behind our backs. In the words of The Lion King’s Scar, “Life’s not fair, is it?”
See how nice girls let him down easily
Regardless, it can be hard to wrangle an excuse when you’re on the spot. Somehow, “You bore me to death,” or “I am thoroughly unattractive to you” just don’t make the cut of polite ways to turn a guy down. So, nice girls, we’re giving you 9 fail safe tips on how to turn down a guy without seeming like a bitch.
1. Try not to hurt his feelings.
For nice girls, it’s important not to be cruel or needlessly blunt when turning down your fella. Don’t find him attractive? That doesn’t mean you have to laugh in his face and call him ugly.
The truth is, sparing someone’s feelings is one of the biggest concerns women have when they’re turning someone down. After all, rejection sucks, whether you’ve known someone for ten days or ten years! But to be honest, you should never mistake having compassion with responsibility. It’s sweet that you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but that doesn’t mean you owe him anything.
2. Explain that you just don’t feel a connection.
Do you have a giant passion for travel, music, business, or some other hobby that absolutely *must* be reciprocated in a relationship? Let him know in your rejection that while you’re flattered, you need someone who is as genuinely passionate about your hobbies as you are. Just don’t let him take this as a hint to purposely do what you like to do.
3. Let him know that you’re dating other people and it just got serious.
One bonus of the digital age is that at any given time, you could be dating a bunch of people at once. If this is the case for you, turn your guy down with the classic “it’s not you, it’s me!” line. Let him know that while you think he’s a great guy, you’ve been seeing someone else and it JUST got serious. Whoops, sorry dude, but thanks!
4. Nip it in the bud.
If you smell a crush-reveal forthcoming, try and nip it in the bud before anybody ends up embarrassed! For example, if you feel like your friend in question is on the verge of revealing his feelings, start talking to him like one of the guys. Tell him how you’re dating, talk about your ex a lot, or use your charming wit to tell him that if another guy asks you out, your head is going to explode. Basically, anything that will send the hint his way NOT to say anything.
5. After rejection footnotes.
After you’ve pulled off the perfectly polite rejection, don’t start avoiding him like the plague, especially if you were friends beforehand. Yeah, it’s awkward, but the sooner you get back to hanging out, the sooner things can go back to being normal.
6. Don’t explain yourself.
Most times, the ways nice girls handle themselves is by being perfectly clear and just saying no. No is a clear and concise response that dually leaves little, yet so much to the imagination. Remember, if you don’t want to explain your reasoning for turning the poor guy down, or can’t think of a polite way to do so, don’t! He’s not your mommy, and he doesn’t need the 411 on why you’re saying no.
7. Tell him you’re not interested in dating ATM.
Never say this unless it’s absolutely true. Otherwise, when you do get a boyfriend, your reject will be sure to throw it in your face that he thought you “weren’t interested in having a boyfriend, you lying liar.” Definitely a bad scene. If it’s true, however, you’re golden!
Lastly, you know nice girls can say no, too! Besides, wouldn’t you prefer suffering through a slightly awkward conversation about shooting the guy down than suffering through the date from hell and potential pity date repeats? Mind spoken, Well so politely.