A Country In Need Of A Foreign President by Olumide Jokotade
Over the last few days, weeks and months, Nigeria has seen a lot in the Economy, infrastructure and the down side in all areas of life in the country. This issues in the country made one of our correspondent travel to sample the views of what Nigerians think is happening and the way forward.
Below is a conversation between a two citizens of the country. A view into the life of this citizens would help us understand where the country is heading to.
‘’I tire for this country walahi. Once am through with this rubbish Bachelor degree, na to collect refugee visa go Brazil’’
‘’My friend is it that bad?’’
‘’See dis one be talking like you have not been in this country all this while’’
‘’Maybe, maybe not, I have been on campus all this while you know. You are the one who lives in Nigeria. The situation of things on campus is quite different from that of Nigeria”
‘’I am simply tired. Look, we have not had light for five days now.’’
‘’Even our small London here on campus, we have seen the bulb lighted in that same number of days’’
‘’And you say make I no travel abroad…’’
‘’Abeg my friend, na joke I dey joke o, if you fit help me get visa, get for me o, I no mind’’
‘’Come to think of it, in a country where we are so blessed with everything we could ever wanted to be a success, why do we remain so much a failure?’’
‘’I had thought over and over again, I just don’t seem to understand.’’
‘’It has never been this bad, not even in the time of Mr Cluelessness. And now that we have Mr common sense, the hardship in the country is uncommon’’
‘’I tire o’’
‘’I remember the social media brigade for our president saying there was just one man who could save us from the then impending doom. And they told us to vote Buhari’’
‘’And you voted! But he has come upon us like Darken Rahi to bring to fulfillment the same words he prophesied. Now, behold your Savior!’’
‘’I think this thing is beyond the physical’’
‘’How do you mean?’’
‘’I mean they are forces of darkness behind this countries woes. Come to think of it, we have elected all the types of men that we have in this country. From the trado-spiritually charged Egba man whom they have dubbed Ebora, to the clueless Igbo man who wouldn’t miss a Sunday service, and now the semi-extremist Fulani man who would stop at nothing to bring sanity to the Nigerian street the Moslem way. Who then is there to try? These men must have tried all within their spiritual powers. But look at us!’’
‘’You joke around too much. What should now do, we will shaa not get ourselves a foreign president?’’
‘’Look at you, a foreign president that would reside in the country, be grounded here, make use of ambassadors for foreign trips, put hears to ground to know what goes around in his cabinet, is better than this Nigerian president in diaspora.’’
‘’Haha, but you know it is not possible.’’
‘’One day it will be. When we all realize we cannot continue putting all are eggs in the basket of the same people that killed our birds. It’s high time we looked abroad for solution’’
‘’Wait o. remember that same selling point of Buhari during the pre-election campaign, that he is the savior of the dying nation’’
‘’Yes.’’
‘’Remember that was said of Sunday Oliseh too’’
‘’Yes now, but he failed. He successfully led Nigeria to the Egyptian ocean, and ran away, leaving us to drown’’
‘’Exactly, I have a feeling this will end that way too.’’
‘’Common, this is a whole nation here, not just a sector’’
‘’Wait. Remember Oliseh never really stayed in the country too just like Buhari. He kept attending conferences and watching live matches.’’
‘’Yes. That true o.’’
‘’Remember how he came in to, after hero Keshi was “unheroed’’ ’’
‘’Yes, same with Jonathan’’
‘’You remember that all through his stay, nothing really ever happened to the super eagles, we were merely shadowing our former selves. What do you make of Nigeria too?’’
‘’You are right.’’
‘’The only thing remaining now is for Buhari to resign.’’
That won’t happen!
‘’It could happen’’
‘’It won’t’’
‘’It might’’
‘’If Saraki (Nigeria Senate President) resigns, you think he won’t try to bring him down?’’
‘’I don’t think so’’’
‘’We go see. Anyways, we it finally happens, you will see that we will begin a hunt for a foreign president just like the NFF are doing’’
‘’You this boy ehn.’’
‘’Seriously, look at it this way: Amodu, Siasia, Keshi, and now Oliseh all failed us, now we want oyinbo coach. Even if the oyinbo will fail, we will sha try him. Why can’t we do same for Nigeria? Obasanjo, Jonathan, now Buhari has failed us, why don’t we just place advert for an Oyinbo president. Even Trump would do well now. Seriously, after Buhari, if I here say we dey want Naija president again, erhmmmn, El-rufai abi what is he called, He should better go become white now. Anyways, I don’t think Nigerians will like to put their future in the hands of a Fulani ma again, after this. Nigeria needs more than just a foreign coach, we need a foreign president.’’
“May God send such our way.”
‘’Amen o!’’
‘’As much as I think you are joking around here, I think we need to look abroad for solutions to the problems of this country. And by looking abroad for solution, I don’t mean travelling every week for every god damn conference or going to china to learn kung Fu to effectively combat corruption.’’
Well, the above conversation was between a graduate of the best University of the country and another graduate of another University. They do not mean to attack any personality, but they had to air their minds and views.
What do you think, do Nigeria need a foreign president? Your views and comments matter a lot at this moment.
NB: Articles published under Opinion and Articles represent the view of the writer and not the view of 9jastreet.com