Whenever and if ever we are on the receiving end of unrequited love, we know all too well how it feels. However, many people suddenly become insensitive and callous even when they find someone else at the mercy of their own feelings and decisions. Sometimes, we love or want to date people who don’t love us back of want to be in a relationship with us. At some other times, we find that we’re the ones who just can’t return another’s feelings for us and therefore cannot be in a relationship with them.
Ladies, if you find yourself in such a situation, there’s need for a lot sensitivity and honesty among other things. This may be a challenge, especially if you are currently lonely or do not want to hurt the guy’s feelings but if you are not careful, everything may get out of hand and you eventually do more harm than good.
Whenever you find yourself in a position where you just don’t feel what that guy feels for you, please make sure you don’t do these things:
Give Room For Assumption
If you know that a guy likes you and you’re sure that you don’t like or love him back in that way, make sure that you don’t give any room to assume that you are also interested. If he discusses his feelings with you, you must make very clear (as gently as possible) that you are no interested because you don’t have those kinds of feeling for him. Even when you have told him “No”, make sure you do not behave or talk in any way that may give reason to hang around or believe that you will change your mind. If you had favours that you asked of him before, it would be better if you can get someone else to do it for you. If you can see him less, do so; this will help start the process of getting his mind off you.
Seek Out His Attention
If you have told a man that is interested in you that you are not interested in you, you should not be seen calling on him at will. You may believe that it’s no big deal and he might even say so but if you’ve ever been in love then you how closely love relates with hope. You must not encourage him; don’t seek for his attention or company unnecessarily. While you feel nothing particularly, every moment feels special to him. Allow to process your rejection and find his bearings. Don’t keep him stuck and confused
Accept or demand unnecessary gifts
It is not right to comfortably and continuously receive gifts from someone whom you know has strong feelings. The only exception to this might be in situations where you both had a strong relationship before the question of love and dating arose, like a friendship or family ties. Even at that, you should be careful about collecting gifts. You should not continue receiving or ever demand gifts from a guy whose basis of contact with you was the desire to be romantically involved with you. If you must do so, it should be on an important occasion and at his insistence.
Sleep With Him
He might say he’s fine and you guys are just going along but it’s not true. If he expressed very strong feelings for you, sleeping with him is tormenting and will make it more painful when you find that guy you want to be with. Don’t encourage him to think something else come up from your friends-with-benefit situation; he may end resenting you or blaming you. Think about all the ladies who did this and ended up getting badly burnt. His judgement is being clouded by his feeling but you don’t have that problem so do the right thing.
Mock Him
This is not a good thing to do at all. Don’t mock a guy for having feelings for you. Think about if it were you in the same shoes; would you want to be mocked. Let him down gently and respect his dignity.
Try To Hook Him Up With Someone Else
He said he wants you and just because you don’t want does not mean that you get the right to start match-making him. Keep it respectful by staying out of his love-life if you can’t be in it.
Pity-Date Him
Don’t ever date a person that you don’t want out of pity; it’s stupid of you and it’s awful for him. This would be terrible if you had already told him you weren’t interested and then went ahead to date him out of pity. You might you’re being nice but you would be sacrificing yourself which make end up unfulfilled and unhappy. You would also end up making him unhappy and possibly resentful because he would know he’s not really what you want.
All that you owe to some who loves you but you don’t love in return is to be honest with him and polite about it. After that, it’s not your job to fix anything; believe it or not, he will be fine, eventually.