3 Things To Know About Reciprocity in Relationships
After reading this title, you might wonder about what the place of reciprocity is in relationships. This is because most people do not really think about what reciprocity is and how important it is in relationships.
The first thing to know is that all meaningful relationships must have reciprocity. This brings to the question; what exactly is reciprocity?
One cannot do much justice to explaining the meaning of reciprocity by pinning it down to one singular definition. Basically, reciprocity is based on the idea of mutual benefiting in relationships. It carries an assumption and expectation that relationships should be characterized by the exchange of actions, privileges and friendship. It basically means that in any truly flourishing relationship, each party involved should have a disposition to give as much as they can.
Reciprocity is a principle that can simple be summarized as this; healthy relationships are not expected to be one-sided because imbalance is unhealthy. Reciprocity means that it is the normal expectation in relationships is that everyone should contribute what they have and where this is absent; it is or has become a dysfunctional relationship.
Going by this, it’s easy for anyone to see that this is a principle that is entrenched in every human heart. This is why people get upset, angry, or bitter when their love is not returned, or where they are the only ones giving in a relationship. Reciprocity means that for our relationships to have real meaning, (one) good turn (s) definitely deserves (an) other (s).
Here are 3 things you should also know about reciprocity:
Reciprocity does not mean equality in measure
For a relationship to reciprocal, it really doesn’t mean a strict contribution of resources. Rather it has to do with giving according to capacity. So the amount of whatever is giving in a relationship is satisfactory based of the criteria of whether this is the best that could have been giving. So a reciprocal even the wife who runs a small business from home and has more time in her hands get to call her busy executive husband more often to check on him at work while he only gets to that every once in a while. Another example is that of a partner who is more romantic and expressive doing more grand gestures and saying more “I love you” s, while the other person who isn’t used to showing affection goes out of his/her way to perform some romantic gesture that he/she might consider uncomfortable simply because of the love that (s) he has for his/her partner.
Reciprocity is about giving and giving enough; it is necessarily involve the quantity given but about what one had in store
Reciprocity does not mean uniformity of type
In a relationship it doesn’t mean that because one person shows concern by buying gifts the other person must do exactly the same thing to signify reciprocity. Why one person might be a gift giver, the other person might show his/her love by making out time for their partner.
Reciprocity means giving to cause of a relationship but it doesn’t mean that it has to be in the same kind by every part involved.
Reciprocity is a must
All relationships that are healthy, if they will offer nourishment and meaning for life must be reciprocal. Any relationship, whether family ties or other committed relationship, must have the ingredient of reciprocity.
If there is no reciprocity, it is a sign of an unhealthy, imbalanced relationship.
Everybody Knows Reciprocity
This is true but people are not often able to tap into this knowledge out fear, assumption and a host of other things. Everyone, if they settle down and look inside know if their relationship has reciprocity. Most can discern a relationship where their efforts are not receiving a right and commensurate response; they just choose not to see it.